Finally no more of being a DUMBASS!!!

Well things have changed over the summer,

ALOT of stuff has happened!

From moving out of my house for 7 weeks (cuz my house need to be fixed) to the trailers, then moving back in, to school starting, crashing my car, schooling starting, to ending of an relationship. YEAH!!! ALOT of stuff has happened!!!!

But after all this, I just realized......... I need to get my life back on track!

It's werid! You would think all of these things would affect me emotionally, But it dosen't! It dosen't bother me. I just realized what my priorities are, and what needs to get done first. it's a werid truth. I never thought i would need all of this stuff happening to me first just to see it. I think now I can focus on it you know?

 Alot of things need to get done, it's all jumbled in my head! Ok one thing at a time, I should write this all down LOL!

Thanksgiving was fun! Ate alot, hanged around with the family. I just wished I could of taken home some stuffing! It's like a huge fight just to get it! LOL!

Well just at school now trying to get shit done, But OMG! It's so hard to concentrate! There are screaming kids just going crazy! And the mothers don't even tell them to stop or shut up! FUCK!
I'm so close to snapping!
I get it, your allowed to bring ur kids to school with you but this is too much! BE A MOM! OTHER PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO WORK TOO!!! Shit find a fucking babysitter!

I can handle the screaming for an hour or 2 but when it's 5 FUCKING HOURS! I'm ready to pull my hair out!!!!!

The worst part is when it's everyday! From monday to friday! I swear I'll be deaf by the end of the year.

Some people don't even think about the others around them! seesh!!!!


xoxo

Boring life at the moment

Hey guys!
It's been awhile since I blogged, but ALOT has happened!

OMG!!

Well my house is being re-done by Red Cross (since last years flood kinda wrecked our house)

Me and my grandma are staying at the Wesley trailers.

It's different…………………………………….3 meals a day, housekeeping once a week…………but the constant visitors u need to keep track and such. TBH it's kinds like i'm in rehab!!!!!!
Believe me I know the feeling!(it's a long story lol!)

I mean I want my boyfriend to sleep over some nights, but it seems like there is a strict rule about that not happening. This place is suppose to give us a home, make it feel like home……………if I can't do that then it dosent feel like home, u kno?

I can't even drink here!!!!!!!!!
But you know what!?
I sneak my beers in LOL!!!!

Well next step……………..sneak boyfriend in or I will throw a fit!!!!!LOL (But really I will do that)

RED CROSS should get there shit done quickly! I wanna go HOME!!!!!

The trailers feel so small (is so small, since I have so much clothes!)

Well whatever, Ill tell you more tomorrow. I'm just kinda tired right now!

Goodnite!

xoxo

Being Man and Woman at The Same Time

I think it's time, to become the ULTIMATE WOMEN!

You know? able to do everything and anything.

Basically being the man and the woman in the relationship, maybe this means I should buy a vibrator? lol!

I know it's possible, I've seen women do it before, I just gotta learn how they can do it! I wanna be strong like them, like Jamie. But I just don't know how to do it? I need tips, advice. But they are my inspiration.

I know Kane can't be the man I need now, he needs some time to grow in it. (since he's younger than me)
Maybe I need to be everything for both of us, just in tell he grows into it or till he notices that he needs to grow up?

I've seen plenty of other of women do this, actually they inspire me, Jamie, my grandma, Sami. the list goes on. And I know it can be done.

To me it's called being a strong powerful woman.
Something that's important to me to live by.

Kane's ideas of money making and life are a joke. sadly. 
He already gave all of his income support money to D and his mom, and nothing was gained.
I knew this was gonna happen. Even if I spoke up it wouldn't have made a difference. By all of this past and experience, it makes me think I need to be both man and woman in the relationship. Because I'm the only one that thinks about the numbers, the budget, the future, and life.

In a way it can make me feel in power, and in control.

I just wish I wasn't doing this alone. But I guess I have to for now, just to keep us afloat.

I just wish someone hits Kane with a frying pan, and that he knows that he has to grow up and help me, improve our lives,and get us to where we want to be in life.

But I'm all by myself. it has a lot of stress on me. But I know this needs to get done.

I hate being alone in all of this.

I just wish Kane knew how all this stresses me, and I just wished he helped out.

I hate how he keeps taking off just for D, and trusting him enough to give him all of his money. I hate how he keeps talking that education is important but when I try to get him to school, he gets cranky, lazy, or mad at me.

I keep trying to push him to do what he says what he wants to do or get done. But I feel like he always gets mad at me for doing it.

So I should keep things to myself, if he fails on his own it's his fault. I just need us to get through the day, our life.

And I believe I can do that because other woman I look up too has done that before.

I hope I'm strong like them, like Jamie.

I just hope I can be strong like them.

Here's me being STRONG

xoxo