Stupid Ideas and Waste of Money

Well yesterday was a roller coaster ride.

Let's just say I got upset with Kane for going back on his word. But honestly I shouldn't have been all that surprise. It always happens.

He left to his mom's house. I thought it was gonna be quick and D called for him so I thought it was harmless. But than he came back at 9 kind of drunk wanting to borrow something of mines and go back to the house. He told me they invited him to a barbecue. At this point I thought this was a slap in the face. He promised me he would be a better boyfriend, and that all this bullshit would stop, but here it was back on course. Kane would make a promise and keep to it for a week or 2, then either D or someone get him to do something than he goes back to his old ways.

I'm just tired of the promises he hasn't kept, to be honest I don't trust his word anymore. I need to see it to believe it now.

I just wish these people didn't have such a hold over him. He needs to improve his life but these people are just bringing him down and making him be in the same place.

But I still haven't given up on him.

I know how hard it is to change because I'm going through it myself. But the difference between me and him is that I know what's bringing me down and I think things through, I keep my promises, I keep moving forward and keep getting things done, and I know how to say no.

Let's just say yesterday I was doing a lot of thinking.
I'm always the one cleaning up his messes including mine. And he needs to start seeing that. Cause I'm the one that has to use my own money to get the car (even though he said he was gonna pay for it), how I noticed this is that first he promised his social check to me, than after a couple weeks he wants to sell weed and only give me $40 out of the profit for the car.

Well then that's gonna take a lot time for saving up just only $40 at a time to get $2500. I need the car by this summer! He needs a new plan! But of course I know this isn't him talking, it sounds like D talking.

I don't trust this plan, I don't trust D. It sounds like the exact same thing like last year and all Kane got was screwed over.

Let's just say Kane gave D $700 for weed so he can sell it. D got the weed sold some and never gave Kane a single cent!!!!! NOTHING!!!

PLUS!!
Kane bought him some sort of hunting gun? All because D wanted it. Money wasted, nothing was gained through this.

I was so angry when I found all of this out, I demanded he get his money back but of course he put up a fight and defended D. Now he regrets buying him those stuff and wishes he listened to me. Well I did warn him. Now it's all up to me to pay the bills, to get the groceries, and to make sure he have money to survive the month. And he feels bad that he can't help.

It's like talking to a WALL!!
No wonder why I drink!!
I have so much stress on my plate, and not the good ones I want!

Kane is not here right now, he is at his mom's house because D called for him again (like always)
I'm just here writing this blog and going through the budget (again), and going through this month's and next month's things that need to get done. And I'm also watching House just to take my mind of of things at the same time.

I always feel like every time Kane goes to his mom's house D has more influence to him, and he brings back his stupid ideas and shitty attitude back home so that I have to deal with it.

IT'S CALLED COMMON SENSE!!!
People should use it more often!

Looks like I have to be the brain for both of us until he can finally see that he has his own brain to use. Well at least I have something to look forward too, I'm having a couple of beers later so it can take the edge off. Kane will probable get mad, but you know what! I don't care, I've been working very hard and I deserve a break once in a while!

I'll keep you posted!

xoxo

Hate car accidents

Well on sunday me and Kane got into a car accident. Were okay just some bumps and bruises. But let's just say my car is not drivable.

I'm so stressed out!!!!
We have so much bills to pay and now this is added to the pile.
We don't have the money to pay this but my only choice is to ask my grandparents to help me out (and there scary to deal with) either to repair the car or buy me a new one. I hate asking them for this (since it was them that bought me the car in the first place) but I'm willing to work out a payment plan with them (since I don't have the money to pay for it upfront) oh god I hope they understand!

This is what happened:
Kane was driving and it was late at night. He didn't see the road and we went into the ditch and hit a couple of trees.
Thank god! I was wearing my seatbelt! I would of been thrown out of the windshield!!!
Thank my lucky stars!!!

But now we have to deal with this, we need a car.
Kane promised me he will put all of his money into repairing my car or getting me a new one. I hope soon!

OMG this whole thing has been so stressful! We have so much bills to pay but with little money to pay it.
I've read almost every budgeting book out there and none has worked for me.
This sucks!!!
And plus my grandparents are gonna doubt/judge me for my mistake. (I can hear the lecture now and there disappointing face)

Oh well 
I'm gonna have to deal with this. (which I'm not looking forward too)
But I have to learn from my mistake.

Just wish me luck on all this.

xoxo
Sky Scream

Need new routine

I admit I have a lot of notebooks and binders for different things, 
-blogs I like and want to remember 
-ideas for projects styles I like 
-fashions I like 
-budgets, etc. 
Basically anything I can think of I would have a notebook or binder for. Naturally you would think I would be on "top " of things but personally my discipline with myself is very low, I do stupid things that I know that I shouldn't but I still do it, I'm only human.





But the kind of routine I've always wanted was Jane Ryan's routine.

She is just a character that Ashley Olsen plays, but in my eyes she just seems like "the kind of person I want to be"

Jane just seems so balanced to me (something I've personally needed in my life BTW)
So my new goal is to somewhat have her sort of routine in my life.
Ill keep you posted if I succeeded or not and give you some tips if you guys want any.
Wish me luck!

XOXO

Pink Home Coming Soon!!!!!!!

Ok for some of us it is impossible to redo our home with the kind of budget were on! (Were all normal people so sometimes we don't have alot of money to blow it on redoing our house!)
So my mission is to redo my whole house that will stick to my budget!!!!!!!!!!
I have ideas in my head to make it a girly house! But then again I do have a boyfriend and I don't want him to get embarrassed every time he brings his friends over for game night so I guess I have to dial it down.
But hopefully it will look some what like this I hope!

You get the idea!
This would be my dream house!!!!!!

I'll be posting pictures soon of the before and afters!
And I'll tell you how I did it and how much it costed!!!!!
I'll keep you guys posted!!!!!



xoxo
Sky Scream