Hate car accidents

Well on sunday me and Kane got into a car accident. Were okay just some bumps and bruises. But let's just say my car is not drivable.

I'm so stressed out!!!!
We have so much bills to pay and now this is added to the pile.
We don't have the money to pay this but my only choice is to ask my grandparents to help me out (and there scary to deal with) either to repair the car or buy me a new one. I hate asking them for this (since it was them that bought me the car in the first place) but I'm willing to work out a payment plan with them (since I don't have the money to pay for it upfront) oh god I hope they understand!

This is what happened:
Kane was driving and it was late at night. He didn't see the road and we went into the ditch and hit a couple of trees.
Thank god! I was wearing my seatbelt! I would of been thrown out of the windshield!!!
Thank my lucky stars!!!

But now we have to deal with this, we need a car.
Kane promised me he will put all of his money into repairing my car or getting me a new one. I hope soon!

OMG this whole thing has been so stressful! We have so much bills to pay but with little money to pay it.
I've read almost every budgeting book out there and none has worked for me.
This sucks!!!
And plus my grandparents are gonna doubt/judge me for my mistake. (I can hear the lecture now and there disappointing face)

Oh well 
I'm gonna have to deal with this. (which I'm not looking forward too)
But I have to learn from my mistake.

Just wish me luck on all this.

xoxo
Sky Scream

Rant for weeks slash trouble with mother-in-laws

Let's just say lately I've been off track of everything I wanted to do. I'm embarrassed……

Lately I've been on a drinking binge for a straight week, I'm disappointed in myself. I was suppose to go to school, I was suppose to get stuff done, I was suppose to start and finish projects. But I wasted my week.

I guess the reason why I drink is cause I get frustrated. 

Here's one of the reasons why:

Well I've been having problems with my boyfriend Kane.
All I want is for him to be a man and get shit done like he always says he's gonna do.
I mean he always goes to his mom's house everyday and just stays there doing nothing, I mean I GET IT!!!
You have a close relationship with your mom but there's only so much that it becomes unhealthy.

He constantly does everything for her, and this is what causes most of our fights.

Here is what I really want to say to him:

Your mom is a grown woman, she is still young. But the way she raised you is kind of twisted.
She has 8 kids, it's not your responsibility to raise them it's her, your the kid and she's the mom. If she can't handle raising her kids then she should quit opening her legs to guys that make fake promises to her and that can't even take care of her! You pay for her bills, you take her places, you watch the kids, you get her food, you do this and that! there's only so much stupidity I can take!!!!!

I mean I do things for my family when they ask me, but my family tries not to ask so much because they know they have to do it themselves, they only ask when they can't do it and if it's urgent and got nobody to turn to. I have support from my family but they always encourage me to do things for myself, to be my own person and to learn from my experiences.

But Kane you need to understand that what your mom is doing and raising her kids is wrong, it's not right.
Your mom easily makes a ton of money from the kids child tax and social, she can easily pay her bills, buy a car, get food and clothes for her kids. But instead she lets D take all her money and gives nothing to the kids. I don't know if this is a way just to keep her boyfriend with her (since he has no interest in taking in 8 kinds fathered by 2 guys)

I mean it's just pathetic!

And Since D got out of jail your whole attitude has changed from last year.
We use to be able to drink together and everything would just be fine but ever since he came out and everything you drink with me now, you freak out at me!!! And I noticed this ever since that bastard came out of jail.

I don't know what you see in him? Do you think he is a father figure? Do you think he is a Man?
A man that beats your mom, takes all her money for himself, that does nothing all day, that does not work or try to do anything, that gives nothing to your siblings except for his own kid, that has nothing going for his life except for trying to be gangster. Do you think that's a man? Some Man!!!!

Your mom has chances to make her home a better (livable) home. She can get real beds for her kids and make real rooms for them instead of it being a free for all (basically if you find the place to sleep then you sleep), she can get a real living room and a real kitchen. I mean there are places that helps families get all this, resources. But your mom is to lazy to even try! She always makes the baby an excuse or she makes people feel sorry for her. She's show's no interest in trying to help herself and her family. She needs to smarten up, grow up and take up her responsibility.

I mean seriously I've met harder working moms who have 1 or 2 jobs and go to school full-time. And al there doing is just tryna give better lives to there kids. Those kind of moms I give respect to.

I'm not tryna diss your mom or anything but all I'm tryna tell you is to stay home more get your own shit done, do stuff less for her, show her that her actions are not acceptable. Because deep down inside you know it's not right. I mean imagine, if I started to do that to our kid if we broke up. You would be so angry!

All I'm saying is that she needs to learn to do things for herself, and not getting everybody to do it for her.

I mean I always try to help you and guide you to do things for yourself, try to let you be your own person, with your own thoughts. But it gets harder when your mother always interferes with our lives. 

And the fact you don't notice this makes me so frustrated!

I mean you always tell me you want to do this or you want to try that or what kind of man you want to be, but honestly how can you if she keeps interfering with you and not making you live your life!

Honestly

I'm getting tired of caving, I'm getting tired of fighting over the same things over and over again.




Well thats why I'm frustrated!

I get so mad at myself because when i get so close to telling him this, he always freaks out at the beginning so that I can't tell him everything.

ugh this is driving me crazy!!!!

well till next time!!!

xoxo
Sky Scream

Thank you Jamie

Here's my babies saying HELLO!!!!!!!

From Audrey to Hannah and Raquel!!!!!!




Anyways lately I've been thinking about what kind of life I want to have……
And to be honest I would want my friend Jamie's life.
She's married to someone she loves, she has 3 beautiful kids and she has a job that she loves and keeps doing!

I would kill for a life like that!!!!!!! Actually I'm trying to get my life like that.

She tells me she's been to the hospital for over working herself………..Well hell can i switch with you to see how that feels! (because someone like me will never feel that)
But seriously I wish I can have what you have or the experience.
I'm tryna make myself a workaholic but its slowly coming.

IDK most people will think it's unhealthy to think like this but if you know me, and how I grew up then this is a fucking improvement!!!!!!


All I'm saying is I want to get married to someone I love, have kids and get paid to do the things I love/like. Is that to much to ask for?



I guess you can say the life I want is my friend Jamie's, the experiences, the security, the truth and honest living.
IDK how I can explain it more……….  but just the motivation in everything in life, family, love home, work. I want that!!!!!!!

Let's just say Jamie has been 1 of my idols growing up (mother, best friend) and through all the ups and downs it seems like she prepared me for that (I'm ready for it).

I'm ready to make my life how I want it to be, and it's all thanks to her.



xoxoxo  

Undercover abuse that needs to stop!

After watching this video I nearly cried!

This isn't fair to the animals, the abuse, the torture, how can some people be so heartless!

This really made me think. Yeah, sure I eat meats and stuff but I always expected they treated the animals with respect for their sacrifice. Like nicely and kind and able to live life a lil bit before they have to go to the slaughter house, but this, this is wrong and unfair and really opens your eyes.

And to be honest it is a waste on killing all those animals for nothing, they could of easily reused them or sold them to farms, but nope they just have to kill the babies and throw them away just for fun.


It's disgusting seeing people like this hurting the babies just for fun or just cause they just want to. It makes me think that these people have a serious problem if they can be alright with this sort of abuse, like do they act all messed up too in front of other people?

This sort of abuse is disgusting and it need to STOP!!!!!

ANIMALS HAVE FEELINGS TOO!!!!!! WHERE THE FUCK ARE THERE RIGHTS!?!?!?



I am a big animal lover and I believe they all have feelings. I just hope more people will notice this and think that there has to be kinder ways to treat our animal friends.

After this I'm going to looking at the food I be more closely, like "were these animals on a fair farm raised/breed right? or were they in a heartless factory suffering and being tortured?".

There needs to be more undercover investigations on this issue.

And the government and the people need to buck up and say something about this abuse! It's unfair to them!!!!!!

This all needs to stop!!!!!
And the people that afflict this kind of torture and suffering to the animals (that are already sacrificing so much anyways) needs to be arrested and brought to justice!!!!

If i meet a person like that 1 day who does this to animals Im'ma kick him in the balls and tell him he disgusts me.

Because all of this disgusts me, and if you agree then you know how I feel!



xoxo


P.S Us human beings can be a cruel race to others, truth be told.

Obsessed!!!!!!

Well lately I've been obsessed with a certain blog.
IDK secretly I'm a organized freak, but i never really show it! ………Maybe because it's cause of my OCD?
Well whatever! It has given me great ideas on how to organize things, in my home and in my life.
IDK but the blog is very addictive.
its called a bowl full of lemons

check it out
a bowl full of lemons

IDK but I can't get enough of it's useful tips and ideas!!!!!

See!!!!! this is absolutely amazing!!!!!

I'm going to do some of these projects on my own, I'll keep you posted on how I am doing. Because I have a feeling that this is going to be sometime.

xoxo

Morning and life shit!

Ok well today has been confusing?
I did everything that was suppose to be done and yet I'm still confused?
Me and Kane
- woke up
- talked to each other
- had our tea
-got ready for the day
- kissed him "good luck on his day" Than he left for work.
And I did my errands for the day.
Isn't life suppose to be like this? (like in the movies and stuffs?)
Why do I feel like something is missing?

I shouldn't be talking. I'm trying to get my life straight as it is. But inside me it always feels like i'm missing something (and i don't know what at the moment).

Well the only way to figure that out is to tell you about my days till i figure it out!!!!!!!

Well today I had to be in Calgary by 11am.
I slept on the ride and I was a lil bit hungover from the night before.
AND IF YOU REALLY KNOW ME, YOU KNOW I WON'T DO SHIT TILL 11 OR 11:30! 
I DON'T DO SHIT BEFORE 10!!!!!!!!!!!
(I MEAN DRINKING! YOU PERVERTS! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK I WAS TALKING ABOUT?!?!) 

Yeah I admit I have a drinking problem, But I'll start on my new routine next week! (only drink on weekends!)

This new plan can help so much! (Hopefully)


Yeah, yeah I made this promise to myself before………
But this time I plan to stick to it,
I wanna have a better life than this and this is the only way.
And also I promised my Kane
Sometimes I just want to give up but than I remember he has my back and he is always on my side.
Looks like I have to get use to the feeling.

Since I was homeless and a street kid when I was a teenager.
But times do change, everything changes for everyone.
I just gotta learn to accept it.

xoxo
till next time!

Sky Scream

Hair Stuffz

Ok so I think I'm going to make a journal on different hair products.
Well I'm trying to grow out my hair (and my hair sadly breaks at a certain point.
I wish I had my old hair back!!!!!!!!

Yeah! I was pretty and cute back then! LOL!

But I've decided to test the shampoo and conditioners that promise results!
I'll record the type of shampoo and conditioner, when i started it and when it ended, and the result from the product. Basically if it worked or if it is a sham!
There has got to be some miracle to let us help our hair grow! I hope I find it!!!! Wish me luck!!!! I'll keep you updated!!!!


xoxo

Sky Scream