Slightly Surprised............

Well I had a interesting weekend!

And some interesting news............

Well I found out my dad is getting married! It's strange in a way, can't say it caught me by surprise! I never thought either of my parents would get married you know? They don't seem like those types of people. Especially my dad he's always out and about, it's strange. But oh well I have to get use to it.

I can't believe I got up this morning! (usually I sleep in till 2) But my dog woke me up, she makes word noises like shes trying to talk, telling me to wake up I gotta go pee! LOL

My weekend was slightly annoying, and fun at the same time.
My cousin kept picking me up everyday to go have a few beers, but the shitty thing is that she kept bringing her kids along................ I get it!!! You can't get a babysitter, But it's such an uncomfortable feeling drinking with little kids around. I mean what happens if cops come around? It's gonna look really bad. And besides that little kids shouldn't be around liquor at such a young age. It sort of wrecks the fun u kno?

Well I better get back to work!

xoxo

Finally no more of being a DUMBASS!!!

Well things have changed over the summer,

ALOT of stuff has happened!

From moving out of my house for 7 weeks (cuz my house need to be fixed) to the trailers, then moving back in, to school starting, crashing my car, schooling starting, to ending of an relationship. YEAH!!! ALOT of stuff has happened!!!!

But after all this, I just realized......... I need to get my life back on track!

It's werid! You would think all of these things would affect me emotionally, But it dosen't! It dosen't bother me. I just realized what my priorities are, and what needs to get done first. it's a werid truth. I never thought i would need all of this stuff happening to me first just to see it. I think now I can focus on it you know?

 Alot of things need to get done, it's all jumbled in my head! Ok one thing at a time, I should write this all down LOL!

Thanksgiving was fun! Ate alot, hanged around with the family. I just wished I could of taken home some stuffing! It's like a huge fight just to get it! LOL!

Well just at school now trying to get shit done, But OMG! It's so hard to concentrate! There are screaming kids just going crazy! And the mothers don't even tell them to stop or shut up! FUCK!
I'm so close to snapping!
I get it, your allowed to bring ur kids to school with you but this is too much! BE A MOM! OTHER PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO WORK TOO!!! Shit find a fucking babysitter!

I can handle the screaming for an hour or 2 but when it's 5 FUCKING HOURS! I'm ready to pull my hair out!!!!!

The worst part is when it's everyday! From monday to friday! I swear I'll be deaf by the end of the year.

Some people don't even think about the others around them! seesh!!!!


xoxo

Boring life at the moment

Hey guys!
It's been awhile since I blogged, but ALOT has happened!

OMG!!

Well my house is being re-done by Red Cross (since last years flood kinda wrecked our house)

Me and my grandma are staying at the Wesley trailers.

It's different…………………………………….3 meals a day, housekeeping once a week…………but the constant visitors u need to keep track and such. TBH it's kinds like i'm in rehab!!!!!!
Believe me I know the feeling!(it's a long story lol!)

I mean I want my boyfriend to sleep over some nights, but it seems like there is a strict rule about that not happening. This place is suppose to give us a home, make it feel like home……………if I can't do that then it dosent feel like home, u kno?

I can't even drink here!!!!!!!!!
But you know what!?
I sneak my beers in LOL!!!!

Well next step……………..sneak boyfriend in or I will throw a fit!!!!!LOL (But really I will do that)

RED CROSS should get there shit done quickly! I wanna go HOME!!!!!

The trailers feel so small (is so small, since I have so much clothes!)

Well whatever, Ill tell you more tomorrow. I'm just kinda tired right now!

Goodnite!

xoxo

Life With Anime/My Top 4 Picks!

Lately I've been watching my favourite anime Fruits Basket.
I wish they did season 2, but nobody knows?

I've missed watching anime!

I use to have quite a collection but I got stupid and sold it. I'm gonna try to rebuild me collection again.

I noticed I'm picky about my anime, I just won't like any one, just some that will interest me.

Fruits Basket makes me smile and it's sort of inspiring to the kind of girl I want to be. Like Tohru is always busy with work, school, friends. She always does the house work and cooks. But she keeps trying hard at everything even though life throws her curve balls. She doesn't give up.

Here's a list of my favourite anime's I will never get tired of:

FRUITS BASKET

INUYASHA

GUNSLINGER GIRL

GUNDAM SEED DESTINY

These are my top 4!

I noticed that all of my anime I like all have love drama! (except for gunslinger girl) It always gets me riled up!

Well time to go back to working on my day planner and homework while watching my anime.

xoxo

Being Man and Woman at The Same Time

I think it's time, to become the ULTIMATE WOMEN!

You know? able to do everything and anything.

Basically being the man and the woman in the relationship, maybe this means I should buy a vibrator? lol!

I know it's possible, I've seen women do it before, I just gotta learn how they can do it! I wanna be strong like them, like Jamie. But I just don't know how to do it? I need tips, advice. But they are my inspiration.

I know Kane can't be the man I need now, he needs some time to grow in it. (since he's younger than me)
Maybe I need to be everything for both of us, just in tell he grows into it or till he notices that he needs to grow up?

I've seen plenty of other of women do this, actually they inspire me, Jamie, my grandma, Sami. the list goes on. And I know it can be done.

To me it's called being a strong powerful woman.
Something that's important to me to live by.

Kane's ideas of money making and life are a joke. sadly. 
He already gave all of his income support money to D and his mom, and nothing was gained.
I knew this was gonna happen. Even if I spoke up it wouldn't have made a difference. By all of this past and experience, it makes me think I need to be both man and woman in the relationship. Because I'm the only one that thinks about the numbers, the budget, the future, and life.

In a way it can make me feel in power, and in control.

I just wish I wasn't doing this alone. But I guess I have to for now, just to keep us afloat.

I just wish someone hits Kane with a frying pan, and that he knows that he has to grow up and help me, improve our lives,and get us to where we want to be in life.

But I'm all by myself. it has a lot of stress on me. But I know this needs to get done.

I hate being alone in all of this.

I just wish Kane knew how all this stresses me, and I just wished he helped out.

I hate how he keeps taking off just for D, and trusting him enough to give him all of his money. I hate how he keeps talking that education is important but when I try to get him to school, he gets cranky, lazy, or mad at me.

I keep trying to push him to do what he says what he wants to do or get done. But I feel like he always gets mad at me for doing it.

So I should keep things to myself, if he fails on his own it's his fault. I just need us to get through the day, our life.

And I believe I can do that because other woman I look up too has done that before.

I hope I'm strong like them, like Jamie.

I just hope I can be strong like them.

Here's me being STRONG

xoxo

Projects I Really Want to Do!

Well today is official!

I started the cabbage soup diet. ugh!

By the end of the 7 days Ill be begging for a pizza lol!

The reason why I'm doing this is because I keep hearing about "the cabbage soup diet" and how it can help you lose 10lbs in 1 week. I'm willing to try this out to see if it really works. Besides I'm the kind of person that needs to see it to believe it type.

Today was like any other Sunday. Major cleanup day. (sort of?)
Clean the bed sheets, clean up the room, do the laundry, get ready for the school week coming up, just sort sort of my weekly ritual. But for some reason today I felt like I really needed a beer?

I hate that feeling. But at least I'm getting thru it. Sort of proud of myself for not begging for a beer. Now I just gotta keep to it all the way to friday than it's break time.

Just remember Sky just keep busy, just keep swimming, swimming, swimmin! And keep positive! Always think positive thoughts!

Lately I'm obsessed with organized things, like pictures of organized closets, offices, day planners, etc.

IDK?

It's just I wish I had that type of talent, but I'm slowly trying to gain that skill. It's hard and I gotta use my DIY and creative skills, But it will be worth it!

I will soon be this organized!
This shall all be mines soon!!!!
HAHAHAHA!!!

xoxo

Jealousy of Mothers and Life (to me at least?)

I have a new theory about life.

What if a person like me try to live the life of a mom? Without being a mom.

Is that even possible?

Have other people tried it?

All my friends that have kids and people I look up to have kids seem to have a stable life, sadly the kind of life I want but with out kids (do you kind of get it?).

It's just how happy they are, how proud they are, how they know what the next step is (sort of).

If you know what I mean then you get it. But others might have problems understanding.

I'm not say getting pregnant is the answer to happiness. I'm just saying people that experienced that seem to me have a happy stable life.

Ive tried the so called "right" way:

Kane and I dated awhile
We moved in together
We got dogs together

The next step is to get engaged, than married, then kids and so on. But we are not there yet on the list incase you haven't noticed.

IDK?
Maybe it's just the beauty of how these mothers are living there lives?
Inspiration?
Motivation?
Determination? 

IDK?

It's just how there living there lives is inspiring to me (they have to tell me there secrets! lol!)

I have a list of moms in my head that inspire me,
They just keep on going.
Don't stop.
Until what needs to get done gets done.

So this post is to moms that gets shit done to provide a better life for there kids.

They inspire me

I just wish I have what they have, the dream? The inspiration?

IDK

Let's just say I'm sort of jealous of you

I wish I knew what my life should focus on,
But since it's still like this life is throwing me random balls and I don't know what to focus on.

This is a shout out to all hard working mothers.

You have my respect!
<3

xoxo

Next step: My Closet! (duh duh duh!)

Lately I want to wear my extensions again, wear makeup again.

Before I felt like I didn't need to wear any of it because I had no motivation, I just sort of let go of the idea. But now, I'm not sure what changed? Maybe it's because I want to be this new person, a better person, a new routine. Like they say if you want to be a new you, then you have to be a new you.

Lately Kane and I's life feel like this.

So starting tomorrow or the next day I'm going to clean out my closet and make it organized!
Color-coded and everything!

Today has to be a short post, sorry guys! I promise more details tomorrow!

xoxo

Auction/Garage Sale coming up soon!

Well surprise surprise!

Kane hasn't come back from last night (he's probable out drinking again)
He ignores my texts and everything (what a guy)
But whatever, if he doesn't show up tonight then it's not my fault if he gets yelled at by the teacher tomorrow for not showing up.

I've been thinking I want to do the buy and sell thing on ebay, It makes great money. But I just don't know how to start?

Maybe I need to get nicer things like designer and sell them?

It's kind of motivating but where the hell am I going to get the money to buy the stuff first?
That's the problem.

I need to start out slow, sell my own stuff first than work from there.

To be honest, I don't even wear half of the clothes in my closet anymore (and they are in good use still, like new!)
I need a way to make money off it.

Maybe a garage sale?

or Auction?

IDK 

It's most likely all of this will be in Morley (my hometown)

IDK I need to work out all of this yet. I have the items But I just don't know where to start?

Well if I come up with anymore ideas I'll let you know!

I'll keep you posted!!

xoxo

Stupid Ideas and Waste of Money

Well yesterday was a roller coaster ride.

Let's just say I got upset with Kane for going back on his word. But honestly I shouldn't have been all that surprise. It always happens.

He left to his mom's house. I thought it was gonna be quick and D called for him so I thought it was harmless. But than he came back at 9 kind of drunk wanting to borrow something of mines and go back to the house. He told me they invited him to a barbecue. At this point I thought this was a slap in the face. He promised me he would be a better boyfriend, and that all this bullshit would stop, but here it was back on course. Kane would make a promise and keep to it for a week or 2, then either D or someone get him to do something than he goes back to his old ways.

I'm just tired of the promises he hasn't kept, to be honest I don't trust his word anymore. I need to see it to believe it now.

I just wish these people didn't have such a hold over him. He needs to improve his life but these people are just bringing him down and making him be in the same place.

But I still haven't given up on him.

I know how hard it is to change because I'm going through it myself. But the difference between me and him is that I know what's bringing me down and I think things through, I keep my promises, I keep moving forward and keep getting things done, and I know how to say no.

Let's just say yesterday I was doing a lot of thinking.
I'm always the one cleaning up his messes including mine. And he needs to start seeing that. Cause I'm the one that has to use my own money to get the car (even though he said he was gonna pay for it), how I noticed this is that first he promised his social check to me, than after a couple weeks he wants to sell weed and only give me $40 out of the profit for the car.

Well then that's gonna take a lot time for saving up just only $40 at a time to get $2500. I need the car by this summer! He needs a new plan! But of course I know this isn't him talking, it sounds like D talking.

I don't trust this plan, I don't trust D. It sounds like the exact same thing like last year and all Kane got was screwed over.

Let's just say Kane gave D $700 for weed so he can sell it. D got the weed sold some and never gave Kane a single cent!!!!! NOTHING!!!

PLUS!!
Kane bought him some sort of hunting gun? All because D wanted it. Money wasted, nothing was gained through this.

I was so angry when I found all of this out, I demanded he get his money back but of course he put up a fight and defended D. Now he regrets buying him those stuff and wishes he listened to me. Well I did warn him. Now it's all up to me to pay the bills, to get the groceries, and to make sure he have money to survive the month. And he feels bad that he can't help.

It's like talking to a WALL!!
No wonder why I drink!!
I have so much stress on my plate, and not the good ones I want!

Kane is not here right now, he is at his mom's house because D called for him again (like always)
I'm just here writing this blog and going through the budget (again), and going through this month's and next month's things that need to get done. And I'm also watching House just to take my mind of of things at the same time.

I always feel like every time Kane goes to his mom's house D has more influence to him, and he brings back his stupid ideas and shitty attitude back home so that I have to deal with it.

IT'S CALLED COMMON SENSE!!!
People should use it more often!

Looks like I have to be the brain for both of us until he can finally see that he has his own brain to use. Well at least I have something to look forward too, I'm having a couple of beers later so it can take the edge off. Kane will probable get mad, but you know what! I don't care, I've been working very hard and I deserve a break once in a while!

I'll keep you posted!

xoxo

Wow, I didn't know I can get annoyed, I think?

Well just finished sorting out my files, let's just say my office is half way completed.

But still a lot of work to-do (as part of my new routine.)

Today I figured out one of my pet peeves.

While we were at school (and the school is closed for spring break) I noticed I was the only one that was working on my assignments, while Kane was just on the computer just wasting time and not doing any work for 5 hours! (and believe me we are way behind on our work since our tests are in June)

BUT IT DROVE ME CRAZY!!!!!
And of course I didn't say anything……. Like always…..

I can see it now, when the teacher tells him the deadline is coming up, he will panic and worry, he will start to blame me for how I let happen to let him get way behind, he will give up, and have to restart his classes all over again.

Well I shouldn't worry about that yet. It's still to early.

Now time to make some dinner, do some homework, go through my day planner, organize my purse, my school bag, my bedroom and the list goes on. All by watching a House marathon all at the same time.

What can I say!

I LOVE that show!!!

xoxo

Slowly starting out but my puppy sat in a bowl!

Well sort of proud of myself today.
Did some homework, going through my day planner, selling some clothes, watching House, and writing this blog all at the same time!

HOLY CRAP!
I'm multitasking!!

*claps for me clap clap**

Slowly starting my road to being a workaholic.

I'm going to start with school work and start piling on stuff little by little.

Next on my list,
Making some kind of poster of peoples methods or thoughts on how to be more busy, only people that inspire me though.
Sometimes I think to myself "What would Jamie do? Or how do you think Jamie will do this?" lately.

Omg 
It's getting late but I'm not tired, all I'm just doing is looking over my puppy's Raquel picture.

SHE'S SO CUTE!!! 

I love it! When she sits in her bowl.
ADORABLE!

Well I should try to crash, got a lot of stuff to-do tomorrow, I'll keep you posted!

xoxo

I'm not surprised

Today was so draining!

IDK I just had no energy today. I felt so tired (and for some reason I couldn't even take a nap), I felt like my insides were shaking, it was an ugly feeling. But than again it was probably the hangover taking it's toll. I'm fine now but my whole day was wasted.

And surprise surprise!

After hearing through family gossip, my grandparents won't help me out with my car.

Well let's just say I'm not surprised about there decision.

But I think it's sort of unfair. I mean they get my uncles and aunty cars all the time (even my cousins!) and they always find ways to wreck there cars. Like my cousin took of with my aunty's car one time and he ended up empty on gas so he left it there, the next morning the car was set on fire.

They also get my cousins computers, mp3s, phones, motor bikes, A FUCKING PONY!!!
Taking them to Arizona and las vegas!

And I barley ask for anything from them!

And when I ask, there answer is always NO!

I get it!
That's there favourite grandkids. Whatever help I need doesn't matter to them.It's so stupid! I mean I go to school full-time, I don't have any kids and I'm not trying to get pregnant, I'm not a all out party girl (like my mom). And yet my cousins are doing the opposite of what I'm doing, they barley go to school, they go out and party and do drugs, they have kids they aren't even taking care of. Is something wrong with this view?

Well whatever!

I'm use to this, it's always been this way all my life but I just never had the chance to say it. I tried to work with them on a repayment plan or anyway to pay them back, But all I get is a big fat NO!

Oh well I figure out a new way to fix or get a new car.
I've been thinking of just getting new credit cards getting the cash advance to get a new car. Sure I'll most likely be in debt for like 10 years or longer, but I really do need a car.
I don't know? It's just an idea.

Or either getting a loan?

I don't know? These are all ideas. I haven't made up my mind on anything yet.

I got a lot to think about. Hopefully tomorrow I can have some new ideas.


xoxo

Another Day Same Rant

Well today was okay.
But I think I'm going against my budget plan…….. sadly……… because of my habit.
Well whatever it's saturday, sue me.

Got into a fight with Kane in the middle of walmart because of it. But how I saw it, it wasn't fair. This was gonna be my last hurrah day than next week I'll be serious about this whole cutting back thing. (Yeah I know how that sounds but in my case he still has his birthday weed from thursday)

Well whatever I stood my ground in walmart (in the magazine section) and he ditches me to go find my grandma than comes back to me and says to me to go see her, she than gives me the money and says to quit getting mad. I wasn't getting mad. I was just tryna prove my point!

Well whatever I got what I want (except for the label maker I wanted) and Kane got his stupid Dark Souls 2 game.

But you know what bothers me?

Not the fact he said no to buying my beer (since I lost my ID a week ago)

But the fact I do everything for him and he doesn't notice it!

I buy his weed for him, I buy the groceries, I buy the insurance for the car, I buy the gas, I buy his games for him, I pay the bills, I clean, I cook for him.

How is that fair!

And yet all he does is play games and take off with his no life friends and gives me no help. Especially since he wrecked my car. (Which added to the pile of things to do/pay off)

It always feels like I need to clean up his messes (sadly)

But I have to keep trying, my luck will come up soon.

I love Kane, I love his personality and the way he is. He just acts the way he does because of his messed up mom (I think she messed them up on how to be messed up life)

It will get better soon, it has too.

xoxo
Sky Scream

Hate car accidents

Well on sunday me and Kane got into a car accident. Were okay just some bumps and bruises. But let's just say my car is not drivable.

I'm so stressed out!!!!
We have so much bills to pay and now this is added to the pile.
We don't have the money to pay this but my only choice is to ask my grandparents to help me out (and there scary to deal with) either to repair the car or buy me a new one. I hate asking them for this (since it was them that bought me the car in the first place) but I'm willing to work out a payment plan with them (since I don't have the money to pay for it upfront) oh god I hope they understand!

This is what happened:
Kane was driving and it was late at night. He didn't see the road and we went into the ditch and hit a couple of trees.
Thank god! I was wearing my seatbelt! I would of been thrown out of the windshield!!!
Thank my lucky stars!!!

But now we have to deal with this, we need a car.
Kane promised me he will put all of his money into repairing my car or getting me a new one. I hope soon!

OMG this whole thing has been so stressful! We have so much bills to pay but with little money to pay it.
I've read almost every budgeting book out there and none has worked for me.
This sucks!!!
And plus my grandparents are gonna doubt/judge me for my mistake. (I can hear the lecture now and there disappointing face)

Oh well 
I'm gonna have to deal with this. (which I'm not looking forward too)
But I have to learn from my mistake.

Just wish me luck on all this.

xoxo
Sky Scream

Rant for weeks slash trouble with mother-in-laws

Let's just say lately I've been off track of everything I wanted to do. I'm embarrassed……

Lately I've been on a drinking binge for a straight week, I'm disappointed in myself. I was suppose to go to school, I was suppose to get stuff done, I was suppose to start and finish projects. But I wasted my week.

I guess the reason why I drink is cause I get frustrated. 

Here's one of the reasons why:

Well I've been having problems with my boyfriend Kane.
All I want is for him to be a man and get shit done like he always says he's gonna do.
I mean he always goes to his mom's house everyday and just stays there doing nothing, I mean I GET IT!!!
You have a close relationship with your mom but there's only so much that it becomes unhealthy.

He constantly does everything for her, and this is what causes most of our fights.

Here is what I really want to say to him:

Your mom is a grown woman, she is still young. But the way she raised you is kind of twisted.
She has 8 kids, it's not your responsibility to raise them it's her, your the kid and she's the mom. If she can't handle raising her kids then she should quit opening her legs to guys that make fake promises to her and that can't even take care of her! You pay for her bills, you take her places, you watch the kids, you get her food, you do this and that! there's only so much stupidity I can take!!!!!

I mean I do things for my family when they ask me, but my family tries not to ask so much because they know they have to do it themselves, they only ask when they can't do it and if it's urgent and got nobody to turn to. I have support from my family but they always encourage me to do things for myself, to be my own person and to learn from my experiences.

But Kane you need to understand that what your mom is doing and raising her kids is wrong, it's not right.
Your mom easily makes a ton of money from the kids child tax and social, she can easily pay her bills, buy a car, get food and clothes for her kids. But instead she lets D take all her money and gives nothing to the kids. I don't know if this is a way just to keep her boyfriend with her (since he has no interest in taking in 8 kinds fathered by 2 guys)

I mean it's just pathetic!

And Since D got out of jail your whole attitude has changed from last year.
We use to be able to drink together and everything would just be fine but ever since he came out and everything you drink with me now, you freak out at me!!! And I noticed this ever since that bastard came out of jail.

I don't know what you see in him? Do you think he is a father figure? Do you think he is a Man?
A man that beats your mom, takes all her money for himself, that does nothing all day, that does not work or try to do anything, that gives nothing to your siblings except for his own kid, that has nothing going for his life except for trying to be gangster. Do you think that's a man? Some Man!!!!

Your mom has chances to make her home a better (livable) home. She can get real beds for her kids and make real rooms for them instead of it being a free for all (basically if you find the place to sleep then you sleep), she can get a real living room and a real kitchen. I mean there are places that helps families get all this, resources. But your mom is to lazy to even try! She always makes the baby an excuse or she makes people feel sorry for her. She's show's no interest in trying to help herself and her family. She needs to smarten up, grow up and take up her responsibility.

I mean seriously I've met harder working moms who have 1 or 2 jobs and go to school full-time. And al there doing is just tryna give better lives to there kids. Those kind of moms I give respect to.

I'm not tryna diss your mom or anything but all I'm tryna tell you is to stay home more get your own shit done, do stuff less for her, show her that her actions are not acceptable. Because deep down inside you know it's not right. I mean imagine, if I started to do that to our kid if we broke up. You would be so angry!

All I'm saying is that she needs to learn to do things for herself, and not getting everybody to do it for her.

I mean I always try to help you and guide you to do things for yourself, try to let you be your own person, with your own thoughts. But it gets harder when your mother always interferes with our lives. 

And the fact you don't notice this makes me so frustrated!

I mean you always tell me you want to do this or you want to try that or what kind of man you want to be, but honestly how can you if she keeps interfering with you and not making you live your life!

Honestly

I'm getting tired of caving, I'm getting tired of fighting over the same things over and over again.




Well thats why I'm frustrated!

I get so mad at myself because when i get so close to telling him this, he always freaks out at the beginning so that I can't tell him everything.

ugh this is driving me crazy!!!!

well till next time!!!

xoxo
Sky Scream

Thank you Jamie

Here's my babies saying HELLO!!!!!!!

From Audrey to Hannah and Raquel!!!!!!




Anyways lately I've been thinking about what kind of life I want to have……
And to be honest I would want my friend Jamie's life.
She's married to someone she loves, she has 3 beautiful kids and she has a job that she loves and keeps doing!

I would kill for a life like that!!!!!!! Actually I'm trying to get my life like that.

She tells me she's been to the hospital for over working herself………..Well hell can i switch with you to see how that feels! (because someone like me will never feel that)
But seriously I wish I can have what you have or the experience.
I'm tryna make myself a workaholic but its slowly coming.

IDK most people will think it's unhealthy to think like this but if you know me, and how I grew up then this is a fucking improvement!!!!!!


All I'm saying is I want to get married to someone I love, have kids and get paid to do the things I love/like. Is that to much to ask for?



I guess you can say the life I want is my friend Jamie's, the experiences, the security, the truth and honest living.
IDK how I can explain it more……….  but just the motivation in everything in life, family, love home, work. I want that!!!!!!!

Let's just say Jamie has been 1 of my idols growing up (mother, best friend) and through all the ups and downs it seems like she prepared me for that (I'm ready for it).

I'm ready to make my life how I want it to be, and it's all thanks to her.



xoxoxo  

Undercover abuse that needs to stop!

After watching this video I nearly cried!

This isn't fair to the animals, the abuse, the torture, how can some people be so heartless!

This really made me think. Yeah, sure I eat meats and stuff but I always expected they treated the animals with respect for their sacrifice. Like nicely and kind and able to live life a lil bit before they have to go to the slaughter house, but this, this is wrong and unfair and really opens your eyes.

And to be honest it is a waste on killing all those animals for nothing, they could of easily reused them or sold them to farms, but nope they just have to kill the babies and throw them away just for fun.


It's disgusting seeing people like this hurting the babies just for fun or just cause they just want to. It makes me think that these people have a serious problem if they can be alright with this sort of abuse, like do they act all messed up too in front of other people?

This sort of abuse is disgusting and it need to STOP!!!!!

ANIMALS HAVE FEELINGS TOO!!!!!! WHERE THE FUCK ARE THERE RIGHTS!?!?!?



I am a big animal lover and I believe they all have feelings. I just hope more people will notice this and think that there has to be kinder ways to treat our animal friends.

After this I'm going to looking at the food I be more closely, like "were these animals on a fair farm raised/breed right? or were they in a heartless factory suffering and being tortured?".

There needs to be more undercover investigations on this issue.

And the government and the people need to buck up and say something about this abuse! It's unfair to them!!!!!!

This all needs to stop!!!!!
And the people that afflict this kind of torture and suffering to the animals (that are already sacrificing so much anyways) needs to be arrested and brought to justice!!!!

If i meet a person like that 1 day who does this to animals Im'ma kick him in the balls and tell him he disgusts me.

Because all of this disgusts me, and if you agree then you know how I feel!



xoxo


P.S Us human beings can be a cruel race to others, truth be told.

Obsessed!!!!!!

Well lately I've been obsessed with a certain blog.
IDK secretly I'm a organized freak, but i never really show it! ………Maybe because it's cause of my OCD?
Well whatever! It has given me great ideas on how to organize things, in my home and in my life.
IDK but the blog is very addictive.
its called a bowl full of lemons

check it out
a bowl full of lemons

IDK but I can't get enough of it's useful tips and ideas!!!!!

See!!!!! this is absolutely amazing!!!!!

I'm going to do some of these projects on my own, I'll keep you posted on how I am doing. Because I have a feeling that this is going to be sometime.

xoxo

Morning and life shit!

Ok well today has been confusing?
I did everything that was suppose to be done and yet I'm still confused?
Me and Kane
- woke up
- talked to each other
- had our tea
-got ready for the day
- kissed him "good luck on his day" Than he left for work.
And I did my errands for the day.
Isn't life suppose to be like this? (like in the movies and stuffs?)
Why do I feel like something is missing?

I shouldn't be talking. I'm trying to get my life straight as it is. But inside me it always feels like i'm missing something (and i don't know what at the moment).

Well the only way to figure that out is to tell you about my days till i figure it out!!!!!!!

Well today I had to be in Calgary by 11am.
I slept on the ride and I was a lil bit hungover from the night before.
AND IF YOU REALLY KNOW ME, YOU KNOW I WON'T DO SHIT TILL 11 OR 11:30! 
I DON'T DO SHIT BEFORE 10!!!!!!!!!!!
(I MEAN DRINKING! YOU PERVERTS! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK I WAS TALKING ABOUT?!?!) 

Yeah I admit I have a drinking problem, But I'll start on my new routine next week! (only drink on weekends!)

This new plan can help so much! (Hopefully)


Yeah, yeah I made this promise to myself before………
But this time I plan to stick to it,
I wanna have a better life than this and this is the only way.
And also I promised my Kane
Sometimes I just want to give up but than I remember he has my back and he is always on my side.
Looks like I have to get use to the feeling.

Since I was homeless and a street kid when I was a teenager.
But times do change, everything changes for everyone.
I just gotta learn to accept it.

xoxo
till next time!

Sky Scream

Hair Stuffz

Ok so I think I'm going to make a journal on different hair products.
Well I'm trying to grow out my hair (and my hair sadly breaks at a certain point.
I wish I had my old hair back!!!!!!!!

Yeah! I was pretty and cute back then! LOL!

But I've decided to test the shampoo and conditioners that promise results!
I'll record the type of shampoo and conditioner, when i started it and when it ended, and the result from the product. Basically if it worked or if it is a sham!
There has got to be some miracle to let us help our hair grow! I hope I find it!!!! Wish me luck!!!! I'll keep you updated!!!!


xoxo

Sky Scream

Try To Figure It Out

Well have you evert felt like you really want to do something and you have your mind is set on something (activity, routine, life, etc) but something is stopping you?

Lately I've been feeling that.

I don't know if it's lack of motivation or something I forgot todo but it's getting to me.
Plus it's been making me moody and grouchy.

I HATE THIS FEELING!!!!!!!!


I've been testing out some theories on how to get rid of this feeling. 
Here's my list:

1. Drink beer. Drink Up!!!!!
Maybe getting tipsy, buzzed, drunk, or shit faced will spark up a idea of what 
I was missing. (Or to have 1 of a good time, it really all depends on how you look at the situation)

2. SLEEP!!!!!
Cuz who doesn't love sleep! it restarts you every morning (or night. It don't matter I don't judge) and gives you a feeling of a new day new start kind of thing you kno?



And to be honest that hasn't been working for me.
So maybe to get out of this funk is another theory I've had:

1. WAKE UP IN THE MORNINGS!!!!!!
So i can make it into school, instead of waking up at 3pm. (basically wasting my whole day away)

2. TALKING!!!!!!!!
Because lately my boyfriend and I have not been talking about our feelings, thoughts, and saying what we really want to say.
To be honest we've been silent and mad at each other for no reason!! And it's been driving me crazy!!!
We need to set some rules for each other and our relationship so we don't get into the same situation again or IDK? Something like that tho.

3. DON'T GET LAZY!
I don't know how to spell the word but basically when you want to do something but you get lazy and you don't. (You know the feeling) FORCE YOURSELF TO GET UP AND DO WHATEVER THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE!

4. GET BUSY!!!!!!!!
I'm trying to make myself busy, as should you too. 
I'm trying to each time on my day to do something, basically to keep me busy. (Hopefully this will shake off the feeling)

Well yeah those are my so called steps I'll try on myself.
I'll let you know if they really worked.

I'll keep you posted!!!!

xoxo 

Need better service!!!!!!!

REVIEW

Well I had dinner at Tony Romas in Calgary (Crowfoot location), and sadly i was disappointed in the service.

Don't get me wrong the food was great! But the service was unacceptable.

My boyfriend and I sat down and ordered our drinks but our waiter refused that we were over 18 (we offered all of our IDS) he did not believe we were over the age limit and this caused a scene between us.
So we ordered our food and everything was alrite but we didn't notice we had to leave really soon so we asked our waiter if we can have our food boxed up instead.
He rolled his eyes at us and acted very rude to us!
It was embarrassing and made it obvious to everyone around us. 
I mean come on! When your in this line of work you can't be annoyed and show it in front of customers . I understand that people have bad days but this was stupid!!!!!! We were polite and nice to you and even left you a big tip (even though I think you didn't deserve it). 

What is the saying????? If you have a personal problem then leave it at home.
The service was a disappointment to me, but the food was excellent!

Hopefully they improve this situation.

Need new routine

I admit I have a lot of notebooks and binders for different things, 
-blogs I like and want to remember 
-ideas for projects styles I like 
-fashions I like 
-budgets, etc. 
Basically anything I can think of I would have a notebook or binder for. Naturally you would think I would be on "top " of things but personally my discipline with myself is very low, I do stupid things that I know that I shouldn't but I still do it, I'm only human.





But the kind of routine I've always wanted was Jane Ryan's routine.

She is just a character that Ashley Olsen plays, but in my eyes she just seems like "the kind of person I want to be"

Jane just seems so balanced to me (something I've personally needed in my life BTW)
So my new goal is to somewhat have her sort of routine in my life.
Ill keep you posted if I succeeded or not and give you some tips if you guys want any.
Wish me luck!

XOXO

No fun

Well this is not fun, all I want to do is go home and be home with my puppies. 

Life at the hospital has been boring!!!!!!! I can't even sleep on the stupid beds for long or have the kind of food I want to eat. I wonder if I can just admit myself out of this place. I can't stand being here anymore!!! 

Motto

Is this your motto?
this is mine! (tryna be)
Don't you agree?
lol!

xoxo

Happy life but still stress!

Well my life has been busy, school full time while raising 5 puppies at the same time, it's stressful. But I wouldn't give up on them, each one has there own unique personality of there own.
To be honest I'd rather have puppies than children right now, at my point in my life I'm not ready for that yet, basically it's sort of like training you can say (in a way?).

The work is hard, but what would you do?
If you guys have any advice on raising puppies then let me know!

Wish me luck!!!!

xoxo

INSULT!!!!

Can you believe this!!!!!!!
This post was deleted after it was posted.
(sorry for the blurryness)

Dog Training Goal

Well I'm just amazed!
Some people just really know how to train there dogs! I'm just a beginner myself but I need to know how to be better at training my puppies.
This dog is just amazing! His name is Jumpy the dog! I give props to the trainer Omar von Muller. I am so jealous of you!!!!!




This is gonna be my goal dog! (yeah I know that sounds stupid)
I'm gonna try to teach my dogs the same things (or at least close enough), it's gonna be hard but I believe in my little puppies.

So if anyone has any tips on how to train dogs then let me know! Cuz I can use all the help I can get!


WISH ME LUCK!!!!!!!!!